I sit here stewing in frustration. I’m trying not to, but here I am. The cause of my frustration is a combination of things, but the problem at the forefront is….. breastfeeding. <Insert sigh here>
I feel like things with nursing are going so well. Liam is feeding 7-8 times a day, sometimes 9 times, sometimes 6, depending on how he does at night. He’s happy during the day, and he’s got about 4-5 wet diapers a day (could be more, but I feel like I’m wasting diapers if I change him more than that!), and 2-3 BMs. So the last factor that would indicate that breastfeeding is going well is his weight gain. And that’s where the frustration comes in….
We were at the dr.’s office again today for a monthly weigh-in to see how L is doing. I felt like he had gained at LEAST 2 pounds judging by how heavy he is to carry, and he had a major growth spurt last week and was feeding every 3 hours through the night for a few nights. I felt confident that he had gained adequate weight this past month. But to no avail, the scale indicates that he has only gained 1 lb. Arg!
The RN assured me that there was no reason to panic, but since he was born in the 25th percentile for weight and is on a steady decline and is now in the 15th percentile, she wants me to go on Domperidone to see if increasing my milk supply will help. How ironic – with Kenzie I had too much milk and that was the reason for me quitting breastfeeding, and now with Liam I’m super determined to make it to 6 months and I don’t have enough milk! Of course.
I’m hoping that this will be the answer to Liam’s weight gain mystery. At this point I’m not worried, per se, but more annoyed/frustrated. I want Liam to be a healthy, thriving baby but can’t handle when people are constantly commenting on how small he is for his age, or what a skinny baby he is. It makes me feel inadequate as a breastfeeding mom, and it SHOULDN’T! He might just be a tall, slender boy when he grows up and there might be nothing I can do about it! When people make comments like that it makes me feel like a mother is judged by how big of a baby she has. As if I’m starving my kid!
Anyways. The nurse will be checking Liam again at his 4 month immunizations in a month, and if he hasn’t stayed the same or gotten on a higher growth curve, she is going to write up a consult to see a pediatrician, just to make sure we aren’t missing something like a deficiency of some sort. Thank goodness the word “supplementing” or “formula” didn’t come up! 
Rant #1: complete. Commencing Rant #2 now.
On Tuesday I cut the tip of Kenzie’s soother off. I was at a breaking point with the soother; if she got hurt, she’d ask for her ‘dooder’, if she was tired, she asked for her ‘dooder’, and if she was just upset or frustrated, she’d ask for the blinkin’ ‘dooder’. I was sick of it. So we cut it up together, and she put it in the garbage can. She seemed to forget about it at nap time, and fell asleep after crying for about 5-10 minutes. Bedtime was a little harder. She asked for her ‘dooder’ and I simply explained to her that it was all gone, and that we threw it in the garbage. She cried for about 15-20 minutes, and Greg and I each took turns going into her room, laying her down, and telling her she didn’t need her soother anymore. That morning when she got out of bed she went straight to the garbage can, tried to open the cabinet door and said ‘dooder!’. Grooooan.
The last couple nights have been absolutely agonizing. She was up at 3 AM this morning just BESIDE herself, wanting her soother. Greg and I each must’ve gone in there about 5 times, and finally, after an hour of screaming on and off we took her into our bed where we all fell alseep until 7:30. Ok, I had to get up and feed Liam at 4, so it made for a long morning.
I’m determined to keep at it though. She has to start sleeping through the night again eventually, right? Does anyone else’s 2-year old wake up often in the night? Am I all alone in this, lol?
